************************************

“It’s worth a look,” says Jack.

Captain Harkaway flourishes his cape with a dramatic gesture, and suddenly a shining green treasure chest appears. Jack is impressed with the trick but hides it under the feigned disinterest of a window shopper.

“Then welcome to Captain Hank Harkaway’s Haberdashery!” cries the pirate. “I’m famed for offering Boutique Booty for the Couture-Conscious Corsair! If ye want to be taken seriously as an adventurin’ man, ye need fine clothes!” Harkaway pronounces, slapping the top of the chest. “Clothes-Horse here is stuffed with the finest! Of course, a man of action such as yerself wants function as well as fashion. How about this fine, red-striped shirt? Glows in the dark! Excellent for the dungeon-crawler who wants to keep his weapon hands free – no torch or lantern required! Or if yer a seagoing fellow like me, the green-striped shirt might be more yer thing – glows underwater! Perfect for tussling with the monsters of the inky depths – or for midnight rendezvous with a beguiling mermaid, eh?” He gives Jack a broad wink.

“For more serious fare, I have a Cloud Cloak, guaranteed soft descent if ye fall off the rigging of a ship or a Beanstalk high in the air. Or my Canoe Clogs – they’ll have ye walking on water! Or if ye really want to spend some time with that mermaid lovely, try a dose of Oxyale, lets ye breathe underwater. Want to do away with yer mermaid’s meddling father? A doze of Toad Venom will do the trick. Remember, everything costs gems, not Gold! And if yer strapped for cash, try a Bucket O’ Bilgewater on me! Guaranteed to restore health and vigor, good for gout and bad eyesight, a teaspoon before bed will make ye move yer bowels in the morning – guaranteed! And that’s just a few of the health benefits!”

Jack is dizzied by the pirate’s patter. Seeing his expression, Harkaway leans in with a conspiratorial smirk. “Maybe yer interested in something … more? Care to see the oddments? I don’t share ‘em with just anyone.”

Captain Hank Harkaway’s Haberdashery

Boutique Booty for the Couture-Conscious Corsair

Essentials:

Red-Striped Shirt (glows in the dark!): 1 Ruby

Green-Striped Shirt (glows underwater!): 1 Emerald

Cloud Cloak: 2 Diamonds

Canoe Clogs: 2 Diamonds

Oxyale (1 dose): 1 Ruby

Toad Venom (1 dose): 1 Emerald

Bucket O’ Bilgewater (comes with lid): Free!

To see Captain Harkaway’s “Oddments” Menu, turn to 31.

If you think Jack should test the captain’s claims about the health benefits of bilgewater, turn to 99.

If Jack is done making his purchases, turn to 15.